that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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