i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
