So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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