Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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