you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
