i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm having to shit out rocks
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
