This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
