thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
