Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
