So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
