I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
