dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
