if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
