Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
