It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
50% drunk capacity currently
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
