This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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