i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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