Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
