I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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