Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
