i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
