Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
