you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
