Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
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