I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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