tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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