its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
