they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
