apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
