Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sponge bath it is.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
