Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
