ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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