I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
