4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
