I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
