thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
