Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
