Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
