Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
