If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
