im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
