It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
