Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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