Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
