the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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