What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
