WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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