What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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