I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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