i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
